girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize