I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He has the fingertips of a God
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