On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
