I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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