I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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