Sry I called you an 8
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
