I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That accounts for only three of the penises
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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