I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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