The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
