At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
