if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
