writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
