At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it was like eating out sand paper
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
