Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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