when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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