is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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