he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
