I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
