Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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