The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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