We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize