dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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