But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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