Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
