Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
