Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
