My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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