And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize