the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
