My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
