You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
