hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Terrible idea I love it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
