What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
