Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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