i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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