When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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