Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
