Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...