Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
