All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
