some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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