Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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