that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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