you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
