He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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