Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
