I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
