he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My feet surprised me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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