Sponge bath it is.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize