Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
