she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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