"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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