i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
