Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
